We are a few weeks in to school and I find that my kids are not telling me about their day like they did last year. Maybe now that they are in 1st and 2nd grade, they feel like they are pro's at the school thing, so they don't need to discuss every detail with me. Our conversations have gone like this:
Me: "What did you learn at school today?"
Me (in my head): Really? You were there all day and nothing?
I try a different angle:
Me: "Who did you play with at recess?"
Boys: "I don't remember."
Me (in my head): Really? It was only like a couple of hours ago!
So I have had to resort to bribery. This is probably not recommended in the parents books but I am too busy parenting right now to pick one up and read about what to do in this type of situation. Conversations now go like this:
Boys: "Mom, can we go outside and play with our friends?"
Me: "Tell me three things about your day."
Boys: "Can we have a cookie?"
Me: "Tell me what you learned about in school today."
Boys: "Can we play video games?"
Me: "Tell me five things that happened at school."
Not only do I have the bribery thing going for me, we also carpool with a very friendly and talkative neighbor girl who is in my oldest son's class. She gets in the car in the mornings and I ask her to tell me all about school yesterday. She always giggles and says she did the same thing my oldest son did. I tell her I want to hear her version, not that he only gives me small amounts of info that I bribe out of him. It is always fun to hear how she describes her day. But you know what, I would rather hear that much detail freely from my boys.
Because it is one thing to know about what happened during the school day and it's another thing to hear it from him. To see his expression when he tells about what happened so I can tell if he is excited or sad or thought it was really hard. To hear the tone of his voice to tell me if he is feeling good or is discouraged.
I suspect this is how it is with God and us.
I have most certainly played the tight-lipped role with God that my boys are currently playing in my life. I have different seasons in my spiritual journey. Seasons where I pour out my heart to God and cling to him tightly. Then there are times when I am don't say much. I don't know why. Laziness? Lack of confidence? I know that God knows my thoughts and my heart and I believe in the power of Jesus, so sometimes I think that he doesn't need me telling him what I need or what to do.
But then where does relationship come in if I am not speaking my heart?
God wants us to tell him about our day. He wants us to pour out our heart to him. He desires that personal, deep and rich relationship with us that I so desire with my boys. And quite frankly, I also desire this type of relationship with God. I deeply desire it. When I do pour my thoughts out to him, my heart fills with his peace. It's pretty cool how that works.
So this annoying situation with my boys is a good reminder to me...of how much Jesus loves me and how he longs to hear my heart. And that I need to talk to God in order to pursue that relationship I so greatly desire.
I have an idea about what one of my top prayers about my boys will be. Until that is answered and I am freely getting talkative responses from my sons, I guess I will stick with my bribery...for now at least...until a better idea hits me...