Monday, April 18, 2016

Imperfect Faith Is Still Faith

I don’t like to have faith.

I mean, I do…but only in theory.

Because having faith means I’m okay with the unknown. And that conflicts with my desire to be “in the know” at all times.

So to calmly say to God, “You got this. I KNOW you got this,” in the middle of uncertainty, can be so very hard, because I just want answers or comprehension, or a “to-do” list would work fine, as well. I don’t want to have to look for the good, discern direction, be patient, or cling to faith. Let’s all just go back to normal and happy and carry on, thank you very much.

Then I have this idea of what perfect faith should look like. It’s not something anyone told me, but it’s something my brain cooked up in all its helpfulness. And it looks like this: No tears, no anxiety – we are smack in the middle of thorny, but we are immovable. After all, scripture says,

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” (Philippines 4:6, NIV)

So I can think people of faith don’t worry, because God tells us not to. So if we worry, then we don’t have the good stuff. We must not have REAL FAITH.  

But a sweet friend recently pointed out to me something about this. God tells us to cast all our anxieties upon Him, not because He’s demanding we not worry, but because He knows we will and He is comforting us. Like a father who strokes his beloved daughter’s hair and repeats, “Don’t fear, dear one. I got this.”

Oh. Yes, that seems to better fit the character of God.

Faith doesn’t have to be polished.

Or perfect.

Faith can look untidy.

Faith can be a pause in the tears. Faith can be still walking through your day despite the thick fog of depression. Faith can be reaching out for a friend, even though you don’t think it will help. Faith can be a broken prayer. Faith can be a moment’s notice of beauty in the ugly. Faith can be a terrified, shaky step forward. Faith can be searching for answers amidst overwhelming doubt. Faith can happen right in the middle of giant, untamed emotions.

I don’t know what journey you are on right now. Maybe you are asking questions, repairing a relationship, letting go, starting a new chapter, burnt out, seeking direction, making a big decision, or just wanting to… Get. Through. This. Season. And maybe you – like me – can sometimes feel like you don’t have enough faith or the right kind of faith.  But the truth is…

Imperfect faith is still faith.

And very often, that is all we need.

Saturday, April 2, 2016

Photography - Chicago

The difference between pushing him as a toddler in a stroller to now when he is five years old...

When we get to the top of a ramp he says, "Mom let go of my stroller so I can see how fast I can go!"

"Sounds like a great idea," said NO MOM EVER.#YouMightBeTooBigForYourStrollerIf #NoWay
We recently spent a week in Chicago and loved it. We stayed right downtown, walked almost everywhere, and with the help of our City Museum Pass, conquered the place one museum/aquarium at a time. These kids will be gone in 2.5 seconds (How does it go so fast?) so the NOW seems incredibly important. It was a huge gift to get away for a bit and make some memories.